Hello, I'm Harry. I've had women I've had germs
They're eerie, wild and wailing and seductive in small doses
Only one way, only one way
Why can't we take a couple of tablets?

Hello, I'm Harry. Did you receive the letter sent?
The cheque enclosed the ngatives?
Well here's some headlines current and sensible -
Moscow's in Ayrshire, what's the problem?
Should I throw my tammy in the ring
And run for President
Ooh, it's farmed out, ooh it's penned in
Ooh, I'm left in no doubt. I'm Harry, Hello
Hey I'm Harry, Hello

You want me, you want me, do I?
Arsenic be judge, gin be jury
The chocolate's watching, the cuckoos are clocking me
They leave me alone in my sulk
Stalking a beautiful girl in a rural spot
I gets larger as she gets nearer
There's only one way, only one way
The rest is just chemist